Hopes and Regrets
by Melody Unrequited
Summary: Jasper and Bella are both guilty and avoiding talking about what happened that fateful and catastrophic day of her eighteenth birthday. Can they finally voice their fears and move forwards in a new friendship, or are they both too broken?


**_'Hopes and Regrets'_**

**_ by Melody Unrequited_**

My heartbeat was erratic as I dragged shallow breaths through my nose. I scanned the shadows looming in the alleyway, my eyes widening in their strain. I flinched as a trash can lid clattered to the ground and unconsciously curled inwards on myself. My breaths were now coming in raspy gasps as I clutched my hand over my mouth, trying to pre-empt my screams before they happened. It was a vain effort. Adrenalin rushed through me and a blood-curdling scream ripped from my throat as I helplessly watched the vampire's lunge for the jugular. Blood pulsed rhythmically from the puncture and my squeals of terror soon transformed into hysterical laughter as the blood spouted ridiculously from the victim's wound. I clutched my sides as I laughed breathlessly.

"Are you okay, Bella?" Jasper asked incredulously, his golden eyes watching me with a mixture of concern and humour.

I waved a hand nonchalantly at him, hoping to express just how fine I was.

He clapped me awkwardly on the back, hoping, I suppose, to stop the laughs. I didn't have the heart to tell him that his method only worked for hiccups.

As I continued to laugh, Jasper's mouth quirked into a full blown smile and soon we were both laughing, his booming and melodic laugh drowning out my own. His hysteria only made me laugh harder and I took rasping breaths desperately through my nose.

I wiped the moisture from my cheeks as I steadied my breath, shooting an embarrassed glance at Jasper. A wave of guilt made my blood run cold as I realised that this attack scene probably wasn't the best choice, especially considering that Jasper was my company.

"Sorry about that, Jasper." I said quietly, desperately hoping I hadn't ruined the evening with my choice of movie.

"No harm done." He grinned, teeth flashing at me as his body quaked with small tremors.

Jasper's face suddenly morphed into an expression of concern and he reached his hand hesitantly towards me, almost in comfort, before letting it drop back to his lap. Another wave of guilt washed through me.

"Please, Bella. You have no reason to feel guilty. I was the monster who started the entire ordeal, not you," he murmured, voice muted and laced with anguish.

"But Jasper, it _was_ my fault. I was so careless. I never even thought about how my presence would affect you. I practically chased you out of your home! I'm so sorry," my voice was thick with emotion and I watched anxiously as Jasper's eyes flickered across my face.

"I think we need to set a few things straight Bella. Firstly, your presence will always be welcome in this house. You don't even realise just how big an impact you've had upon, not just Edward, but our entire family."

Jasper silenced me with his eyes as I shook my head in disbelief.

"No Bella, hear me out. The entire _emotion _of our family changed when you entered our lives. You never knew Edward as the empty, lonely and repressed man he was."

I cringed at the thought of Edward being alone for over a century, but Jasper continued.

"Trust me, the change in his emotions is almost overwhelming. His love, passion and fierce desire for your safety are so raw and intense, I almost find it hard to be around you two."

Jasper smiled ruefully, eyes gentle, head inclined as he tried to persuade me.

"And as if that monumental impact wasn't enough, Bella! You've completed out entire family. Esme and Carlisle love you as if you were one of their very own. Emmett adores you, not to mention his glee at your human traits. Even Rosalie, in her rare moments devoid of her tenacity, appreciates your addition to our family. My Alice loves you so much, the best friend she always wanted. And I? I love you, even though I may seem cold and distant. I love you as a true sister and for finally making this family whole."

Throughout his entire speech, Jasper's eyes were focused upon mine. His smooth voice was intense and so sincere, that I failed to hold the tears back, Jasper's face warping in my vision. I felt his cool hand tentatively envelope my own and my heart swelled in happiness.

"Thankyou Jasper. I love you too," I exclaimed, warning him of my intentions with my eyes, before leaning forwards and clutching him tightly. He froze for a moment, before gently rubbing my shoulder, his chin on my head.

"You're more than welcome, Bella," he murmured. I pulled back rubbing my eyes hastily at my embarrassing display.

Sensing my discomfort, Jasper smiled reassuringly before gesturing to the paused movie.

"Shall we?" he inquired.

"We shall," I smiled.

The duration of the terrible horror movie passed with Jasper scoffing at the blood and me shrinking behind a pillow, Jasper smirking at my cowardly behaviour. I truly felt at peace with Jasper and it had nothing to do with his ability, just him and our budding friendship.

"Bella, Bella, Bella. You really are bizarre. Real bloodthirsty vampires, 'no problem!' you say. But ridiculous fanged screen monsters and you're hiding under the covers?!" He laughed melodically, his teeth glinting in half light.

I glared at him as menacingly as I could, which only made him laugh harder.

"Honestly Jasper. I've told Edward this before. You're really not that scary! In fact, like I've said before, I don't find you in the least _bit_ scary!"

Jasper's face morphed into an expression of terror and I felt my stomach plummet, the hairs rising on the back of my neck.

"Wha-" I began, before a large, cold hand landed on my shoulder. I screamed hysterically, adrenalin pulsing wildly through my veins as I scrambled off the couch, landing awkwardly on my side.

"I vant to suck your blood!" came the melodramatic and obviously mocking voice. Emmett.

The adrenalin and terror within me was soon replaced with a large dose of anger as I turned to see his enormous frame bent over, his large hands trembling upon his knees. I also noticed the rest of the Cullens laughing with him, Esme and Carlisle covering their mouths as they tried to withhold their mirth. Alice was smiling at me in a way that had butterflies swarming my stomach. It was the look she always gave me either when it was Bella Barbie time or when I was about to be involved in a matter of hilarity. I sighed deeply.

Unable to resist their laughter for long, I felt the laughter bubble up my throat.

"Honestly Bells, you should've seen your face!" spluttered Emmett.

"Hmph! Well, if some big oaf snuck up on you and said they 'vanted to suck your blood,' I'm pretty sure you'd freak out too!" I stated tempestuously, trying to retain my annoyed expression, but failing quite happily.

Emmett feigned contemplation, before turning his wicked eyes on me again, "Nah, I'm way too big for anything to scare me!"

Rosalie rolled her eyes at him, before winking in my direction.

I just poked my tongue out at him childishly.

"So what were you saying about us being scary?" he asked curiously.

"I said you _weren't _scary, not at all. It's just your sense of humour that is scary!" I sniffed.

"Not even a little bit? Not even Edward? I mean, he _is _pretty scary with that ability he has of just appearing out of nowhere!" exclaimed Emmett, his face alight with mischievousness.

I sighed theatrically, "No Emmett. Edward is in fact the least scary of you lot. He'd never play that trick on me," I stated assuredly.

"Never?" Prompted Emmett.

"Never," I spat through gritted teeth.

I barely had time to register and decipher Emmett's look of anticipation, before;

"BOO!" came the velvet voice. I didn't even jump, instead a feeling of joy overwhelmed me. Edward was home. The ache in my chest disappeared and my heart pounded out a frantic rhythm, rejoicing in Edward's closeness. Trying to suppress my obvious joy and rolling my eyes, I turned to see Edward's smug look.

"Did I scare you?" he whispered, brushing his lips against mine. I fought to regain coherency.

"Honestly Edward, I'm a little disappointed. For someone so perfect at everything, that really was a pitiful attempt!" I teased, revelling in the look of shock that crossed his beautiful features, before kissing his nose.

Emmett chuckled at Edward's martyred expression, as did the rest of his family. Soon Edward joined in their laughter, my heart stuttering at its musical tone, before sweeping me into his arms and planting butterfly kisses upon every inch of my face.

I giggled at his happiness, my heart soaring at his carefree behaviour.

I caught Jasper's eye as Edward's lips dipped to my collarbone. He was smiling beatifically at me, his eyes telling me everything I needed to hear. _Welcome to the family. _


End file.
